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User blog:TheBadger2805/Badger's Blog - Entry 2
Okay so this time this is actually going to work and not just mysteiously disappear. Thanks Internet. Once again, swearing, typos and strong opinions inbound. Today's topic is friendship. Probably not something you'd associate with doom and gloom, but it very much is, when friendships all go wrong. Sometimes you will have major fuck ups, be it your fault or someone else's, it's guarenteed to happen. I think the most important thing to remember when it does is how to act like a decent human. Now don't get me wrong, there will be plenty of joyous friendshiips out there that will last for years, but not all of them are like that. And when some fuck up, they can be messy. Excluding relationships here, that's a topic for another day. So example 1, imagine you've had a fall out with a friend, and then they start spreading things you told them in confidence beforehand, along with other rumors. This is a basic reaction to anger, trying to get revenge. Yo may want to get your own back on them, either by confronting them, or spreading things about them, or whatnot. I'm here to say: Don't. Just don't. If you do, how are you any better than them? You become the very thing you hate. If they're doing it, just wait, play off anything that people say to you. If people see that you don't react to these rumors getting out, they'll lose interest in them. And eventually, they'll trace it back to the source, and come to realise it is all bullshit. The friend who spread the rumors will be ruined, and you'll stand happy. Revenge is best when karma does it for you. Example 2, after an argument, the friend tries to turn people against you, either by slating you off or telling lies again. Here, all you have to do to come up on top is be nice to the rest of your friends. Say nothing to the person who now hates you, and probably not to their close circle either, but to your other friends, just be a nice, civil person. They cannot hate you for being kind. Eventually, they'll side with you, because they will become irritated with how the other friend keeps on mentioning you and having a go. You win again, and it is entirely the fault of theirs. Exampe 3, the frined you've fallen out with simply ignores you, makes no effort to your face or behind your back to either help or hinder you. The message here is very simple, they are no longer associated with you. Don't try to win them back, or attack them, it will only end in your failure. If the person acts like this, it's game over, and you just have to accept it. Life goes on affter all. Those are the main ones, I hope that helps in dealing with issues like this. Another thing I wanted to say is, sometimes it is your fault that the friendship ended. In normal circumstances, it is usual down to both people, but sometimes it is solely the fault of one person. Never try to lie to useful if it was your fault. You'll know because you'll fell inherently guilty. Try to apologise humbly if it really is your fault, but don't ever make yourself bow down to someone elese because they are too proud. You'll only keep on repeating the cycle if that happens. Last comment: In the heat of an argument, things can be said. You may not mean them, you may only say them for effect, but they can have a far stronger effect than you can imagine. Never, ever, bring up issues that the other person cannot help about themselves or close ones. In an argument, using someone's physical insecurities, mental issues, or bringing up connections to other people in a negative sense are all sure fire ways of making you the outstanding bad guy in the situation. Keep your cool, focus on why there's an argument, not what you can get at them for. That's all for now. Category:Blog posts